North Dakota's West Fargo Hockey Association is hoping to raise $90,000. They've seen a 20% increase in membership and they need more ice, which means they need more money.
Like many associations, they came up with the bright idea of staging a raffle. Where they differ from, say, a church youth group, is when it comes to what they'll be raffling.
A boatload of guns. Two hundred, to be specific. And it's not just the same gun 200 times. West Fargo Hockey didn't just go to Costco and buy some gun in bulk (which I assume you can do in North Dakota). No, their collection is downright impressive.
Guns. Firearms. Semi-automatics. For many this may be as close as you're going to get. But Cal Helgeson with the West Fargo Hockey Association says that doesn't have to be the case. "With the shortage of guns, we have secured all of our guns," says Helgeson. You see these tickets are the key to winning one of 200 guns. "We have a full list," says Helgeson.
Guns that are hard to get can be found on the raffle. "More difficult ones are on here," says Helgeson. Helgeson says they have seen people all across the country purchase one of these.
Here's that full list Helgeson was talking about:
I like that the graphic is titled "200 Guns", and the background for the graphic is a bunch of guns, just in case you weren't getting that this is a list of guns.
I don't know much about guns, but I imagine any one of these would be handy to have on your person if you found yourself trapped in a closet, hiding from a recent sexual partner's husband.
Unsurprisingly, the raffle is doing very well, because a) the chances of winning are really high, with only 4000 raffle tickets on sale, b) people really like guns, and c) there is, apparently, a gun shortage going on right now in the United States.
It's just horrible, it really is. People are barely getting by.
Amazingly, it's largely due to the recent shootings that have made gun control a hot topic. Concerned that guns will be harder to acquire, gun enthusiasts have been buying up guns with gusto. Ironically, this has made guns, as many feared, harder to acquire.
But if you're sick of waiting around for your local gun store to stock that gun you want, why not take a chance on a raffle ticket through West Fargo? North Dakota amateur hockey thanks you, gun enthusiast.
I'm looking forward to the moment on raffle night when the Association announces they've reached their goal and everyone fires their guns in the air like Yosemite Sam. I'm also hoping some other hockey association eventually stages a gun buyback event called "Ice pucks, not fools".
Finally, if guns aren't your bag but you still want to contribute to minor hockey through the raffle, there is one other prize on the list. No, it's not a wood chipper (which is unfortunate considering, you know, Fargo). It's a 2013 Polaris Ranger. Although when pretty much everybody else is in Fargo will have a gun, you're going to feel pretty exposed in a vehicle with no windows or doors.
Follow Harrison Mooney at @HarrisonMooney
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